UBS' Art Cashin Waxes Poetic For The New Year

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UBS' Art Cashin Waxes Poetic For The New Year

via (title unknown) by Tyler Durden on 12/30/11

It may not be pentamic diameter or Shakespearean sonnet-worthy but the venerable Art Cashin delivers his now traditional year-end poetic summation of all things newsworthy – old and new.

‘Tis two days yet to New Year but despite what you’re hopin’ The folks in the Board Room say “the full day we’re open”

So we’ll buy and we’ll sell as the tape crawls along And though “Bubbly’s” verboten we may still sing a song

Two Thousand Eleven looked good at the start But deadlocks in D.C. took things all apart

We finished up with a rally thanks to old Santa Claus But some late Euro troubles Almost caused us to pause

We lost special people as we seem to each year It just makes us treasure each one that’s still here

Peter Falk, dear Columbo put his raincoat away James Arness, Marshall Dillon wears a new star today

Jack Kevorkian left us without an assist Harry Morgan, Colonel Potter will also be missed

And Christopher Hitchens said of God he had doubt Now he’s taken that journey when we each will find out

Andy Rooney’s curmudgeon up to heaven has gone Jack La Lanne and his juicer have also moved on

Amy Winehouse so troubled has joined heaven’s choir And Betty Ford also in this year did expire

Joe Frazier, once smokin’ went down for the count And Jane Russell, the Outlaw found a heavenly mount

Liz Taylor’s great beauty now in heaven’s halls glows Jackie Cooper, the child star donned some angelic clothes

Steve Jobs left his iPad he won’t need it now His final words as he left us were just a simple “Oh Wow!”

Mark Haines left the floor too without saying good-bye Though he growled & he grumbled he was still a good guy

Kim Jong Il has departed yet North Korea’s no fun We’re stuck with his third kid who he named Kim Jong Un

Navy Seals got Bin Laden now Khaddafi’s gone too Two of the worst kind that we ever knew

Japan had a huge earthquake followed by a great wave Which engulfed a reactor that they couldn’t quite save

A tornado hit Joplin Alabama slammed too Lots of tears then rebuilding nothing else could they do

And in once civil Norway one day folks ceased to smile When a gun totting loner shot some kids on an isle

While in Middle East cities young folks took to the streets And they spoke to each other Using YouTube and tweets

In Washington – Gridlock was the theme of the year It brought ratings cuts to us and left nothing to cheer

Up sprang “Occupy Wall Street” it was almost a flop ‘Til a YouTube explosion of that pepper spray cop

Corzine’s MF Global misplaced lots of dough When they asked where it went he said – damned if I know

Herman Cain scored debate points his three “nines” moved up fast But he made a quick exit shocked by things from his past

We saw Merkel, Sarkozy a cliff-hanger in Greece Bonga boy Berlusconi claimed some girl was his niece

The Prez had a few struggles in the polls he did slip Prompting new speculation that Hil & Biden he’ll flip

Casey Anthony’s jury somehow had a doubt And some Italian justice let Amanda Knox out

A chambermaid pointed to a guy named Strause-Kahn But the District Attorney said her tale was a con

And then Anthony Weiner emailed some pointed tweets Charlie Sheen had a meltdown as he screamed of his feats

Let not this year’s memories of sadness or sleaze Disturb you this day just give your heart ease

Have faith that this New Year will bring a new sign And believe in yourself it will all work out fine

Just lift up your spirits and some fruit of the vine And kiss ye a loved one and sing Auld Lange Syne

And late in the evening as you watch the ball fall Wish yourself all the best Happy New Year to All!!

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